
The title is not exactly a Catch-22, but it may answer some questions.
BREAKING NEWS: While our lives may sometimes seem linear, they are probably a lot more circular than we often think.
Or maybe to paraphrase an oft-repeated cliché, “What goes around…goes around some more.”
Call it part of the galactic interconnectedness of cosmic interrelated reality, or at least what passes for it.
This story started out about a flight of fantasy that became a flight of fabulous fun–with the exception of a slight WW II-related injury.
As I connected a few dots of this story, and some history–both recent and distant–the story truly etched a circle of my life.
For many years I have said that one of the most incomputable influences in my formative years was having read Joseph Heller’s iconic novel on the lunacy of war, the venerable Catch-22.

The book, which came out in 1961, was followed in 1970 by the release of a movie version, under the same title.
But it was only within the last few weeks that I finally viewed the movie version, which came out 38 years ago.
Like many people–mostly of the male variety–I am enamored with movie scenes of warplanes with loud engines engaged in mind grabbing action. So in addition to being saturated with the satire of the Catch-22 story line, my rapt attention was drawn to all of the old World War II bombers.
Up until this week, I really could not tell one bomber from another.
So, as part of this connectedness, a news clip on the morning entertainment/news show last Monday featured a piece of an event coming to a neighborhood near you, which showcases a number of classic WW II aircraft that, for a tax deductible, set-donation, puts you in the rear gunner’s position or bombardier’s seat.
The Wings of Freedom traveling air show includes a number of revered bombers and the instantly recognizable P-51 Mustang fighter aircraft.
One of those planes is the B-25, pictured on the right, in which Catch-22’s Yossarian was clearly traumatized by the frequent flak–and an occasional empty parachute pack (you’ll have to watch the movie, but it involves eggs).

Another plane that was holding a stately pose on the tarmac was one of the true workhorses of that war, the B-17 Flying Fortress.
This was the Hummer of the air with almost 5,000 horsepower and a reputation of solid construction.
The B-17 is the plane pictured on top and to the left.
As it happened the day I drove out was just to look at the planes sitting on the ground (‘honest, dear…”).
It was the last day the small air force was to visit our local airport and the only plane they were taking paying passengers up in was the one on the left, the historically significant Nine-O-Nine (the name came from the last three numbers on the tail).
After hemming and hawing for way too long, I decided if I passed up an opportunity to actually fly in this rumbling beautiful beast I would certainly have to give up the “adventure” part of my supposed and self-applied title of “global adventure humor writer.”
So out came the credit card!
(“Dear…it’s all a write-off“, as Kramer would tell Jerry.)
Before crawling up into the smallish rear hatch, a safety briefing was given with the following warnings:
Do not step on to the bomb bay doors while in flight. They will open with 100 pounds of weight.
(Who weighs under 100 pounds, nowadays?!?)
Do not lean on the rear hatch cover. It will open with the same 100 pounds of weight.
(Ditto?!?)
At no time, while in flight, should you grab the extensive system of flight control cables that run along the entire length of the fuselage. If you do, YOU will be flying the plane.
(The crewman said this did once happen, but they did not really explain what to do if you got buffeted while traversing the really narrow gangplank through the bomb bay and you had to choose between stepping on the bomb bay doors or grabbing a handful of cables. I guess if it’s the former you could reenact the closing scene of Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove. “Ahhhheeeeee!”)

So after we were all buckled in–sort of– the four powerful Wright reciprocating engines were started, which briefly wafted smoke through the cabin, and then we rumbled down the runway and we were off.
We all took turns crawling on our knees, squeezing around gun turrets in the middle of the belly and tip-toeing down the 70 foot+ of this bomber and into the clear nose area (see the picture above) that housed both a .50 caliber machine gun and the then-top secret, highly accurate Norden bombsight.
The picture to the right is the view looking down as we flew over Cache Creek, where you can see the airplane’s shadow on the ground, below, and part of the bombsight to the right.
As we continue to draw the circle, the creek is the venue for tomorrow’s Creek Walk that I mentioned well before I knew of this possible flight.
https://sanddollaradventures.wordpress.com/2008/05/12/bullets-and-beer-what-could-go-wrong/
Coincidence? I think not.
But wait…there’s more.
In order to provide, you, the valued reader (value based on having such a small number–the few I gots are priceless) with fair and balanced reporting (wait…that’s not even funny) I went home–albeit with that one small WW II-related injury (I bumped my head trying to avoid stepping on or grabbing something that could kill me)–and hit the books, or what passes for a book anymore…The Google – Wikipedia Informational Complex).
I decided to learn more about the namesake of the B-17 that I was privileged to fly in, even if it was for a relatively short mission. What I did not know until I conducted my in-depth research was that the original Nine-O-Nine was retired in 1945. This was after dropping over HALF A MILLION pounds of bombs, much of that over Berlin, Germany. The 9-0-9 had a record for having made the most missions AND having never lost a crewman as a casualty.
The more to this part of the story is that my father was born and raised in Berlin, Germany–even having attended the 1936 Olympics wherein Jesse Owens thoroughly embarrassed Der Fuhrer. But my dad escaped Nazi persecution in 1939 by immigrating, along with 14,000 others, to Shanghai, China (controlled then by Japan).
So, here I was last Monday, flying in the namesake of the plane that repeatedly bombed Berlin, where my dad had only left five years previous.
The plane–or an exact replica of same–that I was flying in, could have been responsible for killing the person (with obvious assistance from my mom; also from Germany, but not Berlin) that allowed me to even be in that plane, so to speak.
Whoa! I think I just blew my mind! Am I in the Twilight Zone?
So, are we done?
Well, how about one more.
Regarding the Zohan reference in the post title: he is an ex-Mosad agent. The Mosad are from Israel, where I currently have relatives living.
Last fall I sailed in the Baja Ha Ha sailboat race from San Diego, CA to Cabo, Mexico. After over one week at sea we looked forward to anchoring off of Cabo so we could hit the bars. But, you see, they were filming this movie and needed a clear sight-shot out into the ocean; right over our anchorage. So we had to motor around while the chilled cervazas were within sight.
The movie?
Yup, you guessed it.
Damn youuu, Adam Sandler.
He is lucky I was not airborne in the Nine-O-Nine, fondling my .50 caliber.
So is anybody down there littering Cache Creek?
I guess they are lucky that I am only shooting blanks nowadays.
That, and the gun doesn’t have real bullets, either.
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