The recent Wall Street Journal article claimed that hard liquor is making a revival, which certainly puts me in good spirits. (pun obviously intended)
The story started with,
“The world’s drinkers are turning to the hard stuff.”
My first thought upon reading this in the Journal’s Business News section was, what do you mean “are turning?”
In the parlance of you kids, you might say my personal consumption of the so-called hard stuff has been a trending topic for years.
But, the article was simply providing a comparison of spirits sales to that of beer and wine as of late.
The bar graphs (can I take credit of a visual pun by the newspaper’ staff?) show that the biggest worldwide increase in hard liquor use is in the United States.
Hmmm, could it be the politics of the last six months has driven all of us to drink the more mind numbing substances.
On a recent weekend in Portland (the one on the “left coast”), which is known to have maybe three microbreweries per resident of drinking age, I had a couple of noteworthy opportunities to add to the statistics of spirit imbibing.
The first was for brunch at a great place known as the Southland Whiskey Kitchen.
Needless to say, they had me at “whiskey kitchen.”
Almost before I checked the list of brunch libations–I said, almost before–I saw they offered beignets, which while I have some difficulty both spelling and pronouncing, I have no problem swallowing whole.
In my quest to eat healthily as often as possible, I ordered a Smokehouse Mary, their version of the iconic vodka-based breakfast cocktail, which is loaded with various healthily to consume vegetables.
You might even call it farm-to-under the table (if you drink enough of them).
They also add their own smoked bacon and rim the glass with smoked salt.
O.K. Now for the true confession (no, not that I’m responsible for fully 1% of the world increase in liquor consumption); the Southland Whiskey Kitchen serves their Bloody Mary with a beer side as kind of a palate cleanser.
The confession is that I actually drank a Coors Light, which is what they serve with their cocktail.
Those who know me, have heard me oft repeat, I don’t drink beer I can see through.
Hell, I’m not even sure there is beer in a Coors Light beer.
But, maybe the cleansing effect also counters the deleterious effects of the smoked bacon and the smoked salt.
What do you mean, it doesn’t work that way?
To quote the world famous, multiple land speed record holder, salt flat car racer, Craig Breedlove,
“For my next act, I am going to set myself on fire.”
I still remember reading about him in the May 1972 edition of Playboy Magazine.
(Gee, if I confess I actually read the articles in Playboy will my Official Manly Man Club card be revoked?)
But, in the case of my recent trip to Portland (the Portlandia one), it was only my coffee that caught on fire.
The source of ignition was my rum–well it is called Frank Rum–that, being 135 proof, burns quite nicely, thank you.
Frank High Proof (which kind of goes without saying at 135 octane) Rum is the local product of the Cornelius Pass Roadhouse Distillery.
At the McMenamins Kennedy School (no, it’s not that kind of school), one of the most visually enjoyable uses of that product is a coffee of ethnic origin, where one might be heard to say,
“Mi cafe es en fuego!!!”
I say visually enjoyable, because it is a fact of alcohol pyrotechnics that once ignited, the good stuff pretty much gets burned off.
But, I think I’m still entitled to take credit for my consumption of yet more (very) hard alcohol, albeit, it went up in flames.
Sand Dollar Adventures 
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