No, that was not me running around naked in the mountains near Salt Lake City.
An A.P. news story reported on some guy, literally crawling around the mountains above Ogden, in what was described as a loosely fitting, homemade goat outfit, complete with fake horns and cloth mask with cut-out eye holes, attempting—for reasons yet unknown—to mingle in with wild goats.
Yes, my copious covering of body hair has been tending towards turning white as I approach “advanced middle age,” but, I guarantee I don’t want to be mistaken for a mountain goat by either an amorous Billy (as in a goat of a male variety), nor a passionate hunter, especially as hunting season approaches.
And, by passionate hunter, I mean in the sport of hunting furry wild animals, not in any inappropriate or obscene manner…well, I certainly hope not.
(Remember, we are talking about goats here, NOT sheep.)
As I have revealed in many a past post, I am enamored with the high country east of Salt Lake City, whether we are talking about the epic ski resorts of the magnificent Wasatch range, or the multitude of high-mountain lakes scattered throughout the stark peaks of the Uintas.
But, never naked or in costume.
“Coty Creighton spotted the goat man Sunday during his hike. He said he came across the herd, but noticed something odd about one goat that was trailing behind the rest.”
In his story to the Standard-Examiner of Ogden, Creighton said,
"I thought it was a deformed goat."
Creighton provided additional details on his encounter by reporting,
"It was clumsy, not nimble. He was on his hands and knees, crawling along the mountainside."
In what might be stating the obvious, Creighton concluded his report to the paper by saying,
"Something was definitely off with that guy."
O.K. Given the last two quotes, I guess I can see how people might have mistaken me for this guy.