Be honest. How many times have you felt like a zombie after a really long day at the office (not fun) or a long night of binging with a bottle (fun; well, at least for a while)?
Many of us from the U.S.A. have this romantic vision of Cuba, what with the really cool old cars, amazing music, fantastic foods and plentiful rum. Needless to say, we kind of ignore the abject poverty, crumbling infrastructure and heavy-handed governmental controls on just about everything.
Why let a dose of reality rain on our parade? Thousands of Americans already visit the country, albeit, without the blessing of Uncle Sam. I have been told, all it takes is a short flight out of Cancun and a little discretion from border officials, who apparently will stamp your U.S.A. passport on a separate piece of paper, which can be easily discarded upon return from Cuba. I have been told, if you avoid leaving a paper trail that you actually spent money there, e.g. don’t use your credit or ATM cards, there is a good chance to “get away with it.”
But, since I am not a big gambler, that “good chance” part makes me nervous. I have been hoping that President Obama might have opened an avenue for legal visits by now, which would reduce the chance that I would be sharing a jail cell with someone named Bubba, who thinks I have a cute ass.
I’m still waiting. (For Obama…not Bubba.)
So, it was of only slightly feigned interest that a recent Associated Press story caught my attention, which I thought might get me closer to La Bodeguita del Medio (the bar in Habana Vieja where Hemingway used to drink).
A story by A. P.’s Paul Haven revealed that the next revolution is about to happen in Cuba, and I thought, what a good time to sneak in amongst the commotion, assuming I could avoid being hacked to death by machete.
"Fifty years later, a new Revolution has begun," the story states.
Unfortunately, there is a slight hitch in my plans. (Isn’t there always?)
They are only accepting dead people. Walking dead people, to be exact.
The story begins,
“What would you do if your entire city was taken over by flesh-eating zombies and communist leaders insisted it was nothing but a plot by U.S-backed dissidents to destabilize the government?”
Any good revolution should have a catchy name to attract international attention—and hopefully, support.
The revolution, which has been “organized” by Alejandro Brugues, a native Cuban, will be known as Juan of the Dead.
I somehow get the impression that this revolution may not be entirely peaceful, as Brugues promises,
“…liters and liters of blood."
So, getting back to the zombie comment, which may have seemed out of place for the lead in this story, since I don’t have “liters and liters of blood” to spare, I was hoping to stock up on a locally produced deep red wine that is created around the zombie theme.
bogle \bõ’g?l\ n. [Scots, perhaps from Welsh] A goblin; a specter; a phantom; a bogy, boggart or bugbear.
I just wonder what the current exchange rate is in Cuba for bottles of American wine against bottles of Cuban rum.