Certain parts of our great nation sometimes have a reputation for a particular breed of person who inhabits those places, often out in the backwoods…way out in the backwoods.
(Key the banjo soundtrack from Deliverance, which possibly NOT ironically to this story, happened to be filmed in South Carolina.)
Short Story: this guy (pictured here, to the right) called in a report of a certain sighting.
A certain extremely hairy sighting, somewhere in the backwoods of North Carolina.
(No, I was not in either Carolina recently.)
Apparently, according to this guy’s sighting, the big hairy dude had “beautiful hair,” which certainly excludes any confusion with my appearance, big hairy feet notwithstanding.
Luckily, the guy was able to run off Big Hairy Thing with his menacing warnings,
“I rough talked him…GIT…GIT…”
The police report logged this as a “Suspicious Person Report.”
I am just not sure who was supposed to be the individual that was the subject of his report: the guy reporting the encounter or Six-fingered Beautiful Hair Man.
I would suggest that the video of what may be the Suspicious Person is well worth two minutes of your time and is linked here.
Speaking of Deliverance, given this guy’s amorous attention to the “beautiful hair” of the 8 to 10 foot hairy man, I really had better choose my route with due diligence.
Da, da, done, done, done, done, done, done, done…
(Which is supposed to be the musical banjo notes, but is also what I would be.)