Who knew that elephants had their own news source? (Personally, I didn’t even know they could read.)
It was at Elephant News that I read about an injury to some Rich Silicon Valley Dude.
The gist was: Rich Silicon Valley Dude – 0 / Huge African Elephant – 1
Apparently, this news source either panders to pachyderms, or is quite possibly written by them. It seemed to me that the slant of the article almost took glee by the whole sorted affair when it quoted the injured party,
“It was all happening so fast. There was no place to hide, no place to run.”
You could almost read the smirk between the lines of the elephants’ enactment of the events.
But then again, who wouldn’t expect at least a little bravado from a mammoth mammal that can top 15,000 pounds?
Being the diligent investigative reporter that my vast audience of readers has come to expect, I decided to delve a little deeper into the story. Maybe something written by a human.
After scratching the African bush a little deeper, an additional accounting of the event provided a better picture:
“The elephant plowed into the guide and then turned on Siebel, breaking several ribs, goring him in the left leg and crushing the right. Siebel said they were able to radio for help only after the animal lost interest and wandered away.”
So, exactly how boring is this guy getting the goring that the elephant lost interest?
And remind me again the purpose of a guide with one of those huge bunker-busting caliber cannons, if the result is,
“As the massive animal closed the distance, Siebel said the guide fired a gun but missed.”
Ah…how do you miss a target the size of a bus coming straight at you? Yes, of course I would be running to momma while screaming and soiling my pants in the process, but I ain’t an African safari guide, either.
I guess there went the guy’s tip.
So, here is today’s quiz:
I often read about really rich dudes (It is hardly ever women, why is that?) who get into these potentially extremely dangerous situations and either die or get seriously injured in the process.
Is it because they have the time and money to seek these adventures into the untamed wilds, or does being very, very rich give them a sense of entitlement that they think will protect them from harm?
At this reporting I don’t have the wherewithal to worry about this dilemma but I am open to cash contributions to further study the question…