It’s not Friday and I’m not Anthony Bourdain, so this is not an episode of Another Bourdain Friday.
Many of us travelers, and especially us wannabe travel writers, would like to think we have a little Tony in us. (Hmmm, that sounds bad in so many ways.)
I have to go on Special Assignment and will miss my weekly nudge from the formally single Ms. Ingrid, who whispers in my virtual ear every Friday as to what Tony will be up to on his next culinary adventure; hence no report will be forthcoming from me this week.
So, knowing that you would be crestfallen to not get your weekly fix in the world of sometimes weird menu items, I took it upon myself at a great risk to personal health and ventured out, looking for something you probably would not hear about from Alice Waters or the folks over at Slow Food.
What I found was awful, just awful. And boy, it was fantastic.
All 5,000 calories and 30 grams of saturated fat. (Exact dietary statistics pending detailed lab analysis.)
This is from a place in the north end of Sacramento, California called Awful Wally’s.
This extremely popular hamburger hangout is in a bland industrial building in a bland industrial neighborhood, but folks don’t typically go to Awful Wally’s for the ambiance of the area. They go for an eclectic burger menu that includes ostrich and buffalo.
But their signature burger is the namesake of the joint, the Awful Wally. A slab of ground beef topped with all you would expect on a good hamburger, including the ubiquitous secret sauce, and then just to make things interesting, they throw on a hunk of pastrami. With some Swiss cheese to add just a few more calories and saturated fat, you got lunch.
Expect a packed parking lot if you come at the peak lunch rush, and don’t be surprised at the mixed demographic of the diners; from hardhats to hippies and street people to suits.
But if you see some scantily dressed, sexually attractive women smelling of alluring perfume, be aware that any attempt of hitting on them in hopes of getting a hot date might just cost you a lot more than the price of an Awful Wally. They probably are just on a lunch break from their place of “business” just down the block.