Just what I need…more ticks. I HATE ticks.

Staycations, close to home trips, short jaunts, quick getaways; whatever you call them, they seem to be all the rage nowadays.

Maybe it has something to do with gas prices over three bucks a gallon (what, again?!?), income realignments (layoffs, pay cuts, furlough days), evisceration of our investment funds, or just being tired of the road rage hitting the highways or playing the airport strip search routine.

Newspaper, magazine and web stories abound about these cheaper alternatives of how we might spend our precious time off.

So, not to buck a populist movement, here’s another one.

                          

If you happen to be in somewhere in the midriff of California, you might consider getting stoned outdoors instead of sitting at home watching re-runs of mindless TV programs (or, if you forgot to switch to digital TV reception, better than watching the blank screen and wondering if Kim John-il just nuked your local television broadcasting station).

We heard about a new (to us) kayak venue, just south of Sacramento.

I really was excited when I thought it was called Stoned Lake.

No, no, no…not for THAT reason. Really.

I have just never seen a stoned lake.

A lake with stones, of course.

A lake with stoners, yes, on occasion.

But, alas, the wonderful wildlife-laden water body is part of the Stone Lakes National Wildlife Refuge.

                

They have initiated a scenic, very relaxing, slow-paced, guided canoe and kayak program that is just minutes from busy suburban areas, yet provides a sense of wilderness and solitude. During our three hour paddle we saw no people, other than our stalwart group of five kayakers, along with our laid-back, yet knowledgeable guides, Josh and Guy.

       

You need to call to set up a guided tour of this federally protected wildlife area, and make sure to get clear directions to the meeting spot. We used their headquarters address and drove back and fourth near the Delta town of Hood. I think after making the third pass the town’s folk were starting to get suspicious of some nefarious invasion underway of their bustling downtown area.

And then we got suspicious when we noticed a truck following us, until we noticed the kayaks on their roof and realized they were possibly looking for the same place we were. Sure enough, Brenda and Dan were part of our group.

Once on the water–in the kayaks that we brought–it did not take long to start seeing an amazing amount of wildlife, just minutes off a major interstate highway (I-5).

Birds were abundant; we saw herons (including a Black-crowned Night-heron), a number of hawks, including the Swainson’s Hawk, beautiful, snow-white egrets, and a good example of a tern, to which I chimed in (to the  sound of moans and groans) that “one good tern deserved another.”

While birds were the predominant form of fauna we witnessed, we did see the biggest beaver abode I have ever seen, to the point that I wondered if they have figured out how to use mechanized logging equipment.

We also saw a number of very timid turtles. Usually they would rather do a belly flop into the water, rather than continue sunning themselves on a log, as soon as you got within 50 feet of them.

                

Some of the wildlife species spent most of its time underwater. I don’t know if they were bass, carp or catfish, but they were big and there were many of them. At least one of our group was spooked when one of the larger specimens actually got them wet. But when they started talking about get their kayak bumped, I suspected a fish story in the making.

The water in some parts was fairly clear to the point you could witness these aquatic behemoths ply the waterways. And I say the fish spend “most” of their time underwater because there was a whole lot of jumping completely out of the water, as if Jaws, himself, was chasing them.

We were cautioned to the abundance of poison oak along the banks of the water, so should you get the urge to get amorous or feel the need to do as nature requires, take caution and be careful where you put your hands and any other body parts.

There was another species of flora that was as unwelcome, that being the beautiful, yet invasive water hyacinth. This plant is often used as an ornamental in home ponds but completely chokes waterways once introduced to the outdoors.

                                                                                         

Also, Guy and Josh warned us to watch for ticks that were anxious to hop a ride onto our bodies in their miniature rendition of an insect vampire. In other words, they “vant your blooood.”

You can paddle as little or as much as you wish. There is no current on this closed body of water, so it’s up to you how strenuous you make your time on the water. We opted to paddle almost the entire area, so we were pretty much famished when we bid adieu to our gracious guides.

After just a short drive over the highway, we Thai’ed one on for lunch. 

Hopefully I did not spoil anyone’s lunch as I picked and probed my hirsute anatomy in search of any creepy crawlies.

For some reason, no one else would do it for me. 

Oh oh, is that a spice on my plate or did I just see it move?