Last week, with most of the hallucinogenic effects of my post-surgical narcotics having worn off (darn, I hate when that happens) I started a story regarding some great local flat-water kayaking in my neck of the woods and alluded to something about gun towers and swift boats.
But before I could get to my point, I had a senior moment and forgot where I was going with the story and ended up with some fowl humor.
Hey…laugh at me, while you can; but you, too, will someday understand that the “S” in “AARP” stands for Old.
(If that doesn’t make sense, it must be a result of too many hours of listening to Sarah Palin answer difficult questions–like “What magazines do you read?”)
One of the lakes within a short drive of downtown Sacramento I mentioned was Lake Natoma. There are three put-ins that I frequent, including a boat ramp at Negro Bar State Park. (You are not alone if you wonder if that park name seems somewhat “dated.”)
A “put-in” is just what the name implies; you put in your watercraft at a particular location.
The opposite would be called, yes, say it with me, a “take-out.”
I couldn’t find an online reference to those difficult to understand concepts, but did find a post that included some nice pictures of Lake Natoma, including the Negro Bar boat ramp (which generally makes for a easy put-it/ take-out, which you can drive to) and at Willow Creek, another good launch location.
My wife and I have been kayaking Lake Natoma and Lake Solano as much as we can lately, enjoying the post-kiddie summer vacation bedlam respite and agreeable fall weather.
Just the other day, I was attempting to drift over to where a stately Great Blue Heron was knocking back lunch (which I assumed were tiny fish) when I heard a large splash right next to my boat.
I assumed my wife was lobbing a large rock my way as her way of thanking me for my constant recommendations as to how to best grip the shaft and create the most effective stroke action on her kayak paddle.
(What did YOU think I was talking about?!?)
She claimed it was a very large fish that completely jumped out of the water. (I might have been convinced had I not caught a glimpse of a stockpile of rocks she had in her cockpit.
That story leads to a paddle we recently did on the upper stretch of Lake Natoma where the canyon walls narrow to beautiful rock patterns and shear cliffs with little sign of civilization, at least until you turn the last corner.
What was that ahead?
I noticed what looked like a lookout tower.
Then there was that high fenced area.
And why was there a cable stretched across the channel with a sign hanging ominously?
Clearly there could be danger ahead.
What to do?
Turn around?
Proceed with caution.
Nah…just send the wife on ahead.
And what exactly did that sign say???
Oh.
Ah…
Dear…dear…paddle back this way.
Now.
No dear…I am not “bossing” you.
Oh, well…what could go wrong?
Certainly two lone kayakers pose no threat to those incarcerated gentlemen.
What…someone’s coming this way…
Maybe to greet us and offer us a tour of the gun tower.
Hmmm, maybe not.
Well, I promise to visit her once in a while.
And if she is lucky maybe she will even get to hear:
greatest post title.
ever.
hysterical……
Thanks. Your comment coming from a female member of my vast listening audience is even more meaningful to me.
Do I need to post a PG-13 rating yet?