It is no wonder so many people dread vacations.
Trying to plan a trip that pleases most of the people most of the time can be trying, indeed.
Then, what with gas prices higher than Britney Spear’s skirt and airline flights being canceled faster than John From Cincinnati on HBO (and I’m still bitter), often we return home less relaxed than when we left.
And you get to return to home and work and find your inbox is piled hire and deep; your voicemail has long since maxed-out; and it will take you longer to catch up on your email than you took on the entire so-called vacation.
Then there’s the risk of having a coronary attack due to sticker shock when the credit card bill rolls in, not to mention your kid’s cell phone bill–”Gee, dad, no one told me my free minutes don’t count in Cabo.”
Thank goodness we now have the solution from all this vacation-induced stress.
You don’t need to look any further than our friends from sunny southern California: home of the world’s best role models.
As reported by, and I am not making up this name, P.J. Huffstutter, of the L.A. Times fame, you can bypass such travel tiring trips to far-off exotic destinations and just take up the latest craze in vacations with a” Staycation,” where you might replace trips to Todos Santos with a trek–
“Carpooling to…outlet malls”
And, you say, “Whew, I just can’t stand fighting the throng of travelers in the Nike shoe outlet store!”
Well, Huffstutter, in the story Getting away without going away, has the answer even closer to home. Ol’ P.J. (and I really have no idea how old ol’ P.J. is) suggests,
“Monthly ‘BBQ trips’ to visit each other’s backyards”
So you see, it’s really simple. You need to think less adventurous in your travel plans and just take Huffstutter’s advice,
“We just have to be smarter about how we relax.”
So you feel free to vacation as they do in Los Angeles.
I guess I’ll keep trying my best to relax on warm beaches in Baja or in the green hills of Hawaii.
I am sorry to say that a vacation over at the outlet mall or in your backyard–
as nice as I’m sure it is–
would just find me more relaxed as the direct result of being a lot more drunk…
just to forget where I was…
and where I wasn’t.